Big Guns
by jemb
Summary: [The Streaking Series Part One] Some say it's liberating. Others say it's stupid. But the truth is everyone has to do it at least once in their lives.


_**I am so proud to present the first of what will hopefully be many stories written in partnership with Niah1988 under Sunflower Lily Productions. Written as a fun one-shot, we hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it. Now...on with the story. has been playing up and unfortunately we had to repost this story so apologies to those who had trouble reading it - Niah and I hope you give it another go.)**_

It was another Friday afternoon at the Jeffersonian lab in Washington D.C. FBI cases had been thin on the ground of late but Dr Temperance Brennan was still busy, occupied with local police cases and the identification of civil war soldiers.

"Zach, Hodgins," Brennan called her team over to where she stood in the centre of the platform by the set of remains. As always she had her hair up in a bun and she was wearing a look of pure concentration. The remains that were currently spread out on the table were part of their latest case.

"Dr. Brennan?" Zach asked.

Brennan tore her gaze away from the remains. "I'd like you two to see if you can get an ID on these remains tonight." She watched as Hodgins glanced at his watch, only then realising that it was getting late in the afternoon. She softened a bit at realising how much her team was longing to get out of work and do something more relaxing than identifying victims. "I know it's late but if we can get this ID and cause of death tonight you'll have the weekend free." She smiled a little, knowing a weekend off would encourage them to work hard that night. Unlike what a lot of people thought, she wasn't a slave driver. Brennan was driven to find out the truth, but not at the expense of her team.

"Uh...Sure Dr. Brennan," Zach agreed readily, not having any plans for the night anyway, and made his way over to the remains. He snapped on a pair of latex gloves and carefully picked up a rib bone for closer examination. Hodgins went over to the evidence box to rummage through it. Smiling softly, Brennan put her hands in the pockets of her lab coat and quietly disappeared to her office. She didn't need to be around to check up on them. They'd do their job properly, like always, especially with a weekend off to look forward to.

"Is this all the evidence gathered with the remains?" Hodgins asked, looking through the meagre items.

"Yes, an officer dropped it off earlier," Zach replied without looking up from the skull he was analysing.

"It's a pair of shoes and a leather necklace," Hodgins stated.

"I noticed." Zach sounded absent-minded as he turned the skull around, upside down, to the left and to the right to carefully examine every bump, crack, and hole.

"There are no clothes."

Zach squinted at an irregularity on the back of the skull and breathed, "And?"

"And there should be. The remains weren't in that ditch for long enough to have all his clothes completely degrade, even if they were made of hemp!"

"I don't understand." Zach finally met Hodgins gaze.

"You wouldn't," the bug man sighed. "I'm saying I don't think he was wearing any clothes when he died."

"Could indicate a sexual assault," Zach nodded.

"Or…" Hodgins grinned.

"Or what?" Zach asked, unnerved by the tone of his friends' voice.

"Picture this…" Hodgins moved back from the table and rubbed his hands together. "He has typical pedestrian fractures, right?"

"Yes, both legs are broken just under the knee. Typical of the victim being struck by a vehicle."

"Okay, so that would suggest he was out on the highway," Zach nodded in agreement.

"Naked," Hodgins added. "Except for his shoes." A strange light illuminated his eyes.

Zach frowned upon identifying the glint as one of amusement. "I don't understand where you're taking this."

"Maybe he was streaking," Hodgins waggled his eyebrows.

"Streaking?"

"Yeah, you know. Running around in the buff in public."

"Why would he be doing that?"

"For laughs," Hodgins shrugged. "Maybe a fraternity prank."

"I don't see why anyone would want to run around naked," Zach shrugged.

"It's..." Hodgins started, pausing briefly to think of an appropriate word.

"Stupid?" Zach offered.

"Liberating," Hodgins corrected him, stressing each syllable. "Don't tell me you've never streaked before?"

"No, I haven't."

"Not even to get into a fraternity?"

"I have never understood the point of being in one. Although theoretically I think my college days would have been more pleasant if I had been in said fraternity." Zach slightly tilted his head to the side as he silently visualised how his college experience would've been if he had been part of "the cool group".

Hodgins chuckled, "Dude…" He got a deep frown from his colleague. Comradely slapping Zach on the shoulder, he continued, "You've missed out on all the fun, Zach."

Zach's frown didn't disappear as he carefully analysed Hodgins' words. Then his eyes bugged out as he stared at his friend in surprise. "From your statement I can derive that...you've done it?"

"At college." Hodgins began laughing when he recalled the night he streaked across the football pitch, mid game, in an attempt to get into a fraternity.

"I could never do that."

"Course you could. But maybe streaking in public is something you should work up to." Zach raised his eyebrows. "What I mean is you should do it in private first, get used to the feeling." Hodgins laughed.

"I'm hardly going to go running around my apartment naked."

"I wasn't suggesting that." Hodgins grimaced as he thought about the view he had on Zach's windows from his bedroom. He'd have a heart attack if he ever saw the young scientist skip around butt-naked. Not to mention an intense urge to grab his shotgun...or maybe his tranquilizer gun because it was Zach.

"Oh, good," Zach sighed in relief.

Hodgins' grimace faded and made way for what Zach could only describe as a very dangerous looking lop-sided grin. The amused glint in his eyes was back as well. "I was suggesting you do it here…now."

"What?!"

"Yeah man. Right here, right now. No-one's around. It's a perfect opportunity to have a liberating experience."

"Dr. Brennan is," Zach quickly shot back, thereby frantically glancing at the open door of Brennan's office.

"She doesn't have to know. It's just a quick run around the lab---to get you over your fear of showing a square inch of skin in public."

"I am not streaking around the lab," Zach said definitively.

"Come on man, just one lap," Hodgins goaded the younger man.

"No."

"Do it."

"No."

"Come on, Zach. Be human for once."

"No, and that's my final answer," Zach curtly replied, picking up the skull he had abandoned at the beginning of their conversation. But his curiosity was peaked nonetheless. Hodgins could see it in the way Zach squared his shoulders, and how his frown was deeper than it usual was when Zach was examining remains. So Hodgins wasn't _that_ surprised when two minutes later Zach quietly asked, without taking his eyes off the skull, "Describe liberating."

"It feels incredible. You're back to how you were originally put onto this world--butt-naked, without a thread on your body. It feels..." A dreamy look filled his eyes. "Liberating, like I said. You feel as light as a feather."

Zach lowered the skull and slowly turned to face Hodgins. "I've never felt like a feather before..."

A few minutes later, Brennan was still occupied in her office, working on a paper for a forensics journal, her eyes focused on the computer screen before her. Out of the blue, a pale white blur passed her door and momentarily caught her attention. But as soon as she looked up it was gone so she turned back to the screen before her, brushing the sighting aside.

Hodgins watched in disbelief as Zach ran quick as lightening around the lab. He could not believe that he actually got Zach to strip and run around the lab – he never knew the kid had it in him. But his disbelief turned to shock when he spotted Agent Booth striding through the double doors. From his vantage point on the platform, Hodgins could see what was about to happen and all he could do was watch. Well, he could have shouted to Zach but where would the fun be in that? As Booth acknowledged Hodgins with a wave before making his way to Brennan's office, a completely naked Zach came hurtling around the corner, arms waving out at his sides. What happened next was inevitable. Unaware of Booth's presence, Zach turned the corner and ran straight into Booth---every square inch of his naked skin coming in full contact with Booth's new Armani suit.

"What the hell?" Booth stumbled backwards and spun in a circle, covering his eyes with one hand. "Put that away or I swear, this time I _really_ _will_ shoot you." His hand rested on his gun at his hip while Zach turned a bright shade of red and tried frantically to cover his modesty with his hands. Hodgins burst into laughter on the platform and clapped his hands.

"I…uh…Agent Booth…" Zach stuttered, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

"Zach, I don't want to hear it…or _see_ it." Booth turned away again, mortified at seeing what was on display before him. If there was any member of the squints team he wanted to see naked, Zach was by far his last choice.

"I'm sorry…I..."

"Will you _please_ put something on?" Booth cringed and dared a peek out from behind his fingers as Zach looked around for something to cover up with.

All the noise and commotion had drawn Brennan's attention and she peeked out of her office to see a most unusual sight. Her lips turned up into a smirk when she saw Zach standing naked in front of Booth who was holding his hand over his eyes.

"For the love of God, someone get the kid a towel!" Booth shouted. "And he's a doctor?" he muttered more to himself than for anyone else to hear.

Hodgins was cracking up on the platform, but managed to grab a blue lab coat and come down the steps. Brennan folded her arms across her chest and walked over to the group.

"Zach?" Brennan asked, drawing the mortified attention of her former student.

"Dr. Brennan, I..."

"Bones, you let this kind of thing go on at your lab?" Booth asked, interrupting whatever excuse or explanation Zach was going to give.

"Why are you covering your eyes?" Brennan asked.

"Because I DO NOT need to see…_this_..." He waved his free hand around gesturing in the general direction of Zach, who by now had wrapped the lab coat around his naked body.

"I'm sorry Agent Booth," he muttered.

"Don't be sorry, just…" Booth sighed heavily and finally removed his hand from his eyes. "God, I'm scarred for life," he muttered.

"_You_ are scarred?" Hodgins exclaimed in disbelief. "I had to watch him strip!"

"At least you didn't feel every inch of him!"

"Whose idea was it anyway?" Brennan butted in. Hodgins and Zach replied simultaneously, each blaming the other. Brennan's eyes flicked from Hodgins to Zach and back before she shrugged. "Why don't you two get back to the remains?"

"Right away, Dr. Brennan," Hodgins obliged. He grabbed Zach's arm to drag him along with him to the platform, leaving Booth and Brennan alone.

"I can't believe you let those two off the hook," Booth accused Brennan.

His partner shrugged one shoulder. "Call it scientific research."

"Scientific resea- Bones, that's the lamest excuse I've ever heard. I thought you insisted on good behaviour around the lab?"

"Booth, streaking isn't a felony."

"Actually it is."

"Well, not at the moment. My lab, my rules -- remember?" She began tracing her way back to her office, Booth following closely behind. "Besides, Zach needed this experience. Everyone has to streak at least once in their lives."

"I haven't...and I'm pretty sure you haven't either."

Brennan smiled mysteriously. "Actually I have..."

"Bones!" Booth came to an abrupt stop. "It's Friday evening, after 6. We're in the middle of a case. I do _not_ need to hear about your quick naked chase through empty hallways in college right now."

"Who said the hallways were empty?" Brennan threw over her shoulder.

From their spot on the platform Hodgins and Zach saw Booth's mouth fall open right before he nearly dove into Brennan's office, shooting dozens of questions per minute at his partner. While Zach tried putting his clothes back on without dropping the blue lab coat, Hodgins took a cotton swab to collect any particulates that were hiding in the skull's eye cavities.

"You know, Zach," he said as he swept the cotton swab over the skull. "I'm proud of you." Zach stopped fiddling with his clothes for a moment to throw Hodgins an incredulous look. Undisturbed by Zach's facial expression, Hodgins went on. "I never thought you'd streak. I would've hid away if I had been you, with your low muscle definition and all. I would've died if I had run into Booth."

"I just wanted to feel like a feather," Zach weakly defended himself.

"But of course," Hodgins continued, ignoring Zach's protests, "This was only the beginning. Running around naked in the lab is a piece of cake. Next time we have to go somewhere really dangerous."

"I'm not doing it, Hodgins," Zach warned him.

"I'm thinking..."

"No."

"Come on Zach, you know you want to be in on this."

"No, no, no, and no," Zach protested. "If anyone's going to do any streaking, it'll be you."

"We'll see about that," Hodgins mysteriously replied. "But wouldn't you like to know where we're going next time?"

"No, the less I know, the better I feel."

"Tough luck, I'm telling anyway. We're going to..." Hodgins dramatically lowered his voice, "FBI headquarters."

_TWO WEEKS LATER_

"So, I haven't seen Booth around the lab for a few days." Angela commented to Brennan as they sat on the mezzanine taking a break.

"He's…staying away for a while." She smirked.

"Why are you smirking?" Angela asked, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

"He uh, said he needed some time away from Zach and Hodgins." Brennan' smile widened until she was almost laughing.

"Does this have something to do with why Jack has been uncharacteristically quiet lately?"

"I've been sworn to secrecy." Brennan nodded.

"I'm your best friend Bren, you have to tell me."

"If you promise not to tell Hodgins that I told you." Brennan warned.

"I swear."

"Okay, last week, Hodgins and Zach decided to give streaking another shot. But this time they went somewhere a little more public."

"Go on." Angela stared at Brennan intensely, sensing something very good was coming.

"Well lets just say that Booth didn't take too kindly to a couple of butt naked squints running around the Hoover building."

"No…way." Angela sat up straight, her eyes wide.

"Last time I spoke to him he muttered something about two naked squints and a really big gun." Brennan smirked. A broad smile crossed Angela's face as she settled back into the couch and folded her arms across her chest.

"Hmm, I wonder who's 'gun' he was talking about?"

_**Thanks for reading. Niah and I would appreciate if you left a review to let us know what you thought.**_


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